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Hiccup's Blog
Monday 17 November 2014
Just a nice day at a mall
With the exception of Marik, we went to some random local mall to get stuff, only to start another freak craze session. If we learn something new every day, I learned that Snotlout has an obsession with escalators.
He first tried to ride up the escalator while sitting on the handrail, but only managed to get his baggy jeans stuck between the steps, ripping one side to bermuda length. I tried to convince him to go up in a legit way, but he didn't listen. He jumped onto the handrail and tried to walk up without falling. He failed miserably, and fell off halfway through, landing into an aquarium. Elsa tried to take a picture, but a security guard showed up and confiscated the memory card for reasons I don't know. He also told Snotlout to climb out of the tank and stop acting like a total baby. Leaving Snotlout below with the guard, the remaining 7 of us went upstairs to a collectible shop, where I found an exact replica of Marik's stick (albeit a little greenish looking compared to the original). I asked the fat guy sitting at the counter how much it cost, and he replied, "You mean the Millennium Rod? I'm not lettin' some random shrimp like you come in here an' geddit just yet! You're gon' haveta duel me!"
I didn't exactly know what he meant by that. Thankfully, I had Inferno hidden in my sling bag, under a pile of textbooks. I asked him if he could lend me a sword, only to have him say, "No! I challenge you to a card game!" Before I could reply, Obi-Wan yelled from the heavy metal shop across the level, "YOU MEAN YU-GI-OH?" Ignoring the dozens of other shoppers staring at him, he ran over and showed him a stack of brown-coloured cards. "Hiccup here doesn't know about this game, so I'll duel you instead!"
Throughout the game (or "duel" as Obi-Wan and the fat guy called it), they were talking in highly exaggerated voices, and Tuffnut kept cracking dirty jokes every time something remotely suggestive was said. I made a recording on my iPhone. It went something like this:
"Now I summon 'Lord of D.' !"
"If you know what I mean..."
"Ha! You just activated my 'Trap Hole'!"
"That's what she said..."
"Now, I activate '7 Tools of the Bandit'. Your Hole is destroyed."
"I wonder what that means..."
"How could you? The plan was foolproof!"
"That's what she said..."
"And now, I activate the 'Flute of Summoning Dragon'. This allows me to summon a dragon!"
"Flute?... I see what you did there, Obi-Wan!"
I had to stop watching, however, as Mum called and asked me to send her some caviar from where I was staying. "I heard caviar's real cheap there, and Cloudjumper loves caviar as a little treat!" I told her that I would send some over, if I could find a big enough bottle that still wouldn't rip holes in my wallet.
I left them to play their children's card games, and went to watch Snotlout explain to the guard why he jumped into a tank with rare marine fish inside. Hilarious explanations, really.
I ended up buying a little bottle of caviar from the supermarket and a tuna for Toothless. The fish stank up my rental car boot. Hopefully, I can clean it up before I return it.
He first tried to ride up the escalator while sitting on the handrail, but only managed to get his baggy jeans stuck between the steps, ripping one side to bermuda length. I tried to convince him to go up in a legit way, but he didn't listen. He jumped onto the handrail and tried to walk up without falling. He failed miserably, and fell off halfway through, landing into an aquarium. Elsa tried to take a picture, but a security guard showed up and confiscated the memory card for reasons I don't know. He also told Snotlout to climb out of the tank and stop acting like a total baby. Leaving Snotlout below with the guard, the remaining 7 of us went upstairs to a collectible shop, where I found an exact replica of Marik's stick (albeit a little greenish looking compared to the original). I asked the fat guy sitting at the counter how much it cost, and he replied, "You mean the Millennium Rod? I'm not lettin' some random shrimp like you come in here an' geddit just yet! You're gon' haveta duel me!"
I didn't exactly know what he meant by that. Thankfully, I had Inferno hidden in my sling bag, under a pile of textbooks. I asked him if he could lend me a sword, only to have him say, "No! I challenge you to a card game!" Before I could reply, Obi-Wan yelled from the heavy metal shop across the level, "YOU MEAN YU-GI-OH?" Ignoring the dozens of other shoppers staring at him, he ran over and showed him a stack of brown-coloured cards. "Hiccup here doesn't know about this game, so I'll duel you instead!"
Throughout the game (or "duel" as Obi-Wan and the fat guy called it), they were talking in highly exaggerated voices, and Tuffnut kept cracking dirty jokes every time something remotely suggestive was said. I made a recording on my iPhone. It went something like this:
"Now I summon 'Lord of D.' !"
"If you know what I mean..."
"Ha! You just activated my 'Trap Hole'!"
"That's what she said..."
"Now, I activate '7 Tools of the Bandit'. Your Hole is destroyed."
"I wonder what that means..."
"How could you? The plan was foolproof!"
"That's what she said..."
"And now, I activate the 'Flute of Summoning Dragon'. This allows me to summon a dragon!"
"Flute?... I see what you did there, Obi-Wan!"
I had to stop watching, however, as Mum called and asked me to send her some caviar from where I was staying. "I heard caviar's real cheap there, and Cloudjumper loves caviar as a little treat!" I told her that I would send some over, if I could find a big enough bottle that still wouldn't rip holes in my wallet.
I left them to play their children's card games, and went to watch Snotlout explain to the guard why he jumped into a tank with rare marine fish inside. Hilarious explanations, really.
I ended up buying a little bottle of caviar from the supermarket and a tuna for Toothless. The fish stank up my rental car boot. Hopefully, I can clean it up before I return it.
Sunday 16 November 2014
Regarding Marik
Drinks all round
Just yesterday, I hosted a dinner in my apartment. Only, it was more like a "Trash-the-House" session. First to come was Marik. He brought beer with him. I told him the day before that I wouldn't need drinks of any sort, but he obviously didn't listen. I told him that he would have to drink it all. To my surprise, he agreed.
For some reason, he still kept that strange golden stick with the eye on him all the time.
Next to arrive was Snotlout. As usual, he had at least two fingers in each nostril, a strange feat considering his nose looked a normal size compared to the illustrations in the books.
Soon, the rest of the gang arrived, and the party kicked off. Except that it went wrong right from the start.
For one thing, my apartment was too small to fit everyone nicely inside, so we ended up spending all our time breathing down each other's necks.
I don't exactly remember what happened in the end, but it did involve my carpet getting ruined by many of them, particularly Elsa, who for some reason decided to puke all over the floor and not in the bathroom, which was just next to her. I told her that the carpet was of utmost importance to me and that she should help me clean it. Her response, "Hmfnvfhrhrwmprmhrprmhrmvrmhrwmwmm", suggested something.
Of course, the fun started when Marik lost his stick. It made him even more drunk than he already was, and somehow, we couldn't find it anywhere, even though none of us had left the apartment. Finally, he stormed out and drove off on his Harley, prompting the others to do the same.
Dumbest party ever. And it was only 7:30 PM. I called Marik and told him I'd pass the stick to him when I found it.
For some reason, he still kept that strange golden stick with the eye on him all the time.
Next to arrive was Snotlout. As usual, he had at least two fingers in each nostril, a strange feat considering his nose looked a normal size compared to the illustrations in the books.
Soon, the rest of the gang arrived, and the party kicked off. Except that it went wrong right from the start.
For one thing, my apartment was too small to fit everyone nicely inside, so we ended up spending all our time breathing down each other's necks.
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Snotlout was already drunk just 20 minutes into the party. I suspect Marik was also drunk when he took this picture. |
Of course, the fun started when Marik lost his stick. It made him even more drunk than he already was, and somehow, we couldn't find it anywhere, even though none of us had left the apartment. Finally, he stormed out and drove off on his Harley, prompting the others to do the same.
Dumbest party ever. And it was only 7:30 PM. I called Marik and told him I'd pass the stick to him when I found it.
Who says Vikings don't have blogs?
Since Snotlout persuaded me to start myself a blog, so here I am.
For those of you who don't know (i.e. many of you), my name is Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III. I'm 21, and I work as a part time animal wrangler, on top of my university studies.
I would have started it earlier, but I was too busy playing chess with this other guy in the same class as me at uni, Marik. He's cute.
Feel free to wander around here while you're at it. Just don't trail footprints all over the place. Toothless hates muddy footprints on the carpet.
For those of you who don't know (i.e. many of you), my name is Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III. I'm 21, and I work as a part time animal wrangler, on top of my university studies.
I would have started it earlier, but I was too busy playing chess with this other guy in the same class as me at uni, Marik. He's cute.
Feel free to wander around here while you're at it. Just don't trail footprints all over the place. Toothless hates muddy footprints on the carpet.
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